


Sulphur

by shalashaska



Series: Love is War [2]
Category: Constantine (2005)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Misunderstandings, Regret, Self-Hatred, Slightly OOC Balthazar, Tsundere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shalashaska/pseuds/shalashaska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More angsty Constantine, since you guys seem to like it so much. (And I kind of do too) Also a personal head-canon that Balthasar only acts tough because he's secretly insecure. Yes, I went there.</p><p>Balthasar confronts John again, and this time it ends a little differently. This time he won't be able to run away and hide. The truth must come out somehow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sulphur

It had been a few weeks now. He still couldn't get over it, though. This was a man who had literally tried to kill him before, someone who had boasted about having the chance to torture him in hell. He was despicable, and yet Constantine could not turn him down. He felt dirty, and defiled, but he knew that he had let it happen.

He could not get that night out of his head, how he had just let that man get under his skin. The shame wouldn't let him forget. Luckily he hadn't seen Balthasar in some time, or he didn't know what he would do. He couldn't bear to look at that man anymore.

He sat alone now, at the bar in Papa Midnite's club. It was a fairly quiet night, and the few guests that were there sat drinking and talking quietly. Usually it was very loud and busy here, but nights like this were a rare treasure to be savoured. John was sipping his third drink, whiskey of course, and taking in the atmosphere.

When he felt a familiar hand stroke his shoulder, he said nothing, but he felt sick very quickly. How the hell had he come in without a sound, anyway?

“Balthasar, how nice to see you on this pleasant evening. What the fuck do you want?” Just go away already.  
“Come on, Johnny-boy... have you forgotten that things have changed between us?”  
“Don't call me that, you piece of shit. Nothing's changed.”  
“I'm not going to let you forget... Johnny boy.” he sounded out the nickname that John hated the most, dragging the sound of it and knowing that it would irritate him.

Constantine took another sip of his drink, refusing to look Balthasar in the eye.  
“I haven't forgotten at all, you know.”  
“I didn't think you would forget, by the way you cried out-”  
“Shut up.”  
Balthasar smirked to himself, taking the seat next to him and continuing. “You were really something, you know.”  
“You covered me in bruises and bite marks, asshole.”  
“You loved it.”

He couldn't argue with that. The pain hadn't been a problem at all. He was only finding reasons to fight now. In reality, he had no more reason in him, and all he could do was deny everything, like a coward. Balthasar obviously knew this, and John knew that the half-breed wasn't going to give up.

“And if I did?” Balthasar was a bit taken aback by the honesty, since Constantine was normally so stubborn. He raised his eyebrows, and John scoffed, continuing. “It doesn't mean things have changed between us, does it? That didn't mean anything.”

He frowned as the demon chuckled at him. “What's so funny?”  
“If it didn't mean anything, then why did you act so defensive, and then avoid me for weeks on end?”  
“Well...”  
“Aha! Got you, Johnny boy.” He snapped his fingers and pointed in John's direction, mocking him childishly.  
“I hate that fucking nickname.”  
“Don't try and change the subject.”

Ugh, this guy was good. There wouldn't be any way of getting out of this. It really had meant something, and it had torn him apart to admit it before. However, he would have to. He knew deep within him that he would have to admit it eventually, but jesus christ, he dreaded it.

“Well maybe it did. So what?”  
“You cried, John.”  
“The fuck are you talking about?”  
“You know, John. You know exactly what I'm saying.”  
“And why would I cry?” John finished his drink with one last sip, swallowing and fiddling with his now empty glass.  
“It seems almost ridiculous, doesn't it? You, John Constantine, crying because you're in love with me.”

John swallowed hard. Was he really trying to do this right now? He rose from his seat, dropping some cash to the bartender as he straightened himself and began to approach the door. Balthasar quickly hopped down from his own seat and strolled right behind him.

“I'm leaving, Balthasar.” Ugh, go away.  
“Me too.”  
“Isn't it suspicious that you chose to leave at the same time?”  
“You're not running away from me, Johnny boy.”  
Constantine quickly made his way up the stairs and out of the front door, and Balthasar followed him like a damn shadow. Their footsteps chimed in unison against the damp pavement under them. He wanted to get away from him, but even as he increased the speed of his walk, the demon would not lose pace and continued to follow at his heels.

“John, stop.”  
He continued to walk in silence, pretending that Balthasar wasn't even there. It was kind of hard, when the half-breed was right near him like that.  
“John, you're torturing me, damn you.” There was a sort of desperate tone in his voice. He was getting impatient as well. “What is your problem? Do you hate me?”

He stopped suddenly, standing in silence for a moment. Balthasar was taken by surprise and almost ran right into him.  
Abruptly turning to face the man behind him, he suddenly blurted, “Of course I hate you, Balthasar! Don't you remember what you did? We fought as enemies!” Clenching his fists, he was trying hard not to sound upset, and failing.

Stepping back, Balthasar stared at him for a moment. His sudden honesty, and that little crack in his voice took him by surprise. “So that's what it its... you're struggling to start over?” Looking down and slipping his hands into the pockets or his fitted suit, Balthasar sighed. “You're clinging to the past, no matter how hard I try to make things up to you?”

“Wait... Balthasar.” He didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say?  
“If you don't want me, just tell me honestly. I don't want to hear any more excuses.” His eyes snapped upwards, making sudden direct contact with John's. That familiar, inhuman glow was revealed for a brief moment. “Okay, John?”

John felt cold. He felt as though he might fall apart from the huge pressure and tension which hung in the air like the sour smell of sulphur. 

“Balthasar... I do want you. I told you that already.”  
“Then why are you running?”  
“I really wish that I didn't want you.” There it was. The truth. “I'm ashamed, okay? I'm ashamed because I feel pathetic being in love with someone like...”  
“With someone like me?” Balthasar's eyes trailed towards the ground again. “I understand.”

He felt like such a dick now. What had he been doing all this time? He hadn't realised how Balthasar might have felt, he was too caught up in his self-pity. Maybe this demon really did want to sort this shit out. He really was looking for a second chance. Why else would he have made his move that night? God, why hadn't John realised it before?

“Balthasar...” Oh god, I'm a selfish asshole.  
“It's okay, John.”  
“No, um...” He's devastated, I have to say something.  
“Really, it's better for both of us if this ends.”  
“Hey, wait up.” NO don't leave, please. I have to tell him.

But it was too late. Balthasar was gone, in a familiar cloud of sulphurous smoke. Constantine kicked at an empty bottle nearby and dragged himself back to his apartment. He needed some sleep.


End file.
